What I Have Learned

I still haven’t been able to feel at ease or comfort. I hear that it will come and I suppose it will but I’m not sure when, or in what way. I’ve heard grief comes in waves – sort of like the ocean. One day it is calm and uneventful, the next it hits you like a tidal wave. The ocean never dries up and goes away – it slowly evolves and changes over time but it never disappears – sort of like the feelings you have when you lose a child.

Daniel has taught me so much in such a short period of time. I know now that I should not take life, family, or children for granted. They are a blessing. I need to be appreciative of what I have for as long as I have it. In the deepest darkest moments of our grief we should remind ourselves that even when we feel we are going through the worst thing imaginable there is always someone, somewhere who has suffered far worse. We should not take comfort in this but know that “it could be worse” and this should give us the strength to move on.

The single most important thing I have learned from this is that strength isn’t getting over something and carrying on – it is facing it head on and dealing with it – even if that means allowing yourself to cry, feel pain, and express anger for much longer than you think you should. It is only now at my weakest most vulnerable point in life that I have found courage and ultimately true strength.