Friday, December 30, 2011

I'm on a roll......

I know my posts seem to be far and few between - obviously with the holiday season coming to a close I'm finding myself in a bit of a funk and have a greater need to write particularly tonight where I seem to be on a roll!

I just wanted to tell one more story. My husband delivered a baby boy last night! No HE was not expecting nor is he a doctor. He is a police officer and this baby could not wait to get to the hospital to make his grand appearance.  His name is Drake. His mother's birthday is April 23rd which is Daniel's birthday. Later on in the evening in the break room my husband found a dime on the floor - a dime is what we call "our sign" from Daniel.  He is always with us.

Another good one......

"Don't cry because its over, smile because it happened." Dr. Seuss


Winning the essay contest at work and getting a trip to Disney as well as entry into the Disney Half Marathon is just great. Even greater is the fact that I will be a guide for a U.S. Marine who will be running with the Achilles Freedom Team during the half marathon. This soldier was diagnosed with breast cancer while deployed in Afghanistan and is actively undergoing breast cancer treatment to include a bilateral mastectomy performed in August. I am completely and utterly inspired by her courage and feel so honored to be given this opportunity to learn from her experiences and witness her strength.

Conversely, winning has also shed a lot of light on the stillbirth of my son. I know I asked for this - I wrote the essay to emphasize the positive effects of running, the lessons learned while training for a distance race that can be applied to life and, more importantly, to raise awareness of stillbirth and the impact it has on the women and families that are forced to face this type of tragedy. 

A local newspaper wrote an article about me and I have to do a bit on the Fox news station next week. I feel really vulnerable right now......part of me just wants to crawl into a hole and hide out for a while. I think its because I am being forced to acknowledge my feelings and the events that transpired over three and a half years ago. I'm so used to just tucking things away. Its not like I haven't tried my best to deal with everything but I certainly haven't made it very public!

I refuse to let Daniel's short life be meaningless -- talking about him, helping others because of him and giving unselfishly with Daniel as my primary motivation are my small attempts to find a reason.

Friday, December 9, 2011

World Wide Candle Lighting - December 11th

The Worldwide Candle Lighting is coming up on December 11th. People from around the world will be lighting candles to remember and honor children who have died. Click on this link to learn more about this meaningful event World Wide Candle Lighting

It has been a while.....

Yes, the hustle bustle of the holiday season is upon us!  It is that time of year where work is busy, life is busy and I'm just busy being busy!  So here is my random thought of the day......the sooner we can stop feeling sorry for ourselves and acknowledge the struggles others face the sooner we can move on with living life.

The Duggars lost their baby - it has been quite the topic of the discussion every where. What I am most surprised about is how nonchalant the news seems to be treating everything. I am also really disappointed in the opinions people have expressed. If you haven 't lost a child then you have no business telling people what to think or feel - you just won't understand. I am so sorry for the family - no matter how many children you have or will have you can never replace the one you have lost.

Still missing my little boy - grateful for what I have - but wishing I could have him too!