Monday, December 28, 2009

Particularly Sad Today.....

I haven't been here for a while - my heart is always here, but it seems like life moves too quickly doesn't give me a chance to sit down and let my feelings out - not like it used to. I have this heavy weight on my chest and I'm not sure why - guess I just miss my little boy. Every day I think about him and although I know I am lucky, I am blessed, I am happy there is something so incomplete in my life - its the loss of my little boy.

It never really goes away - not like when a relative or a friend passes. Over time you learn to live without them - carry fond memories and can speak of them with some sense of peace. Not me, not yet. I just can't seem to get that painful knot out of my throat - the one that makes it hard to speak. Tomorrow is another day - a different day, but he'll still be gone.