Wanting to Write But Not Knowing What to Say

The road we are on now is less bumpy - far less ups and downs but there are still hills. Life is normal most times - we have things to look forward to but every now and then my heart aches with pain. This loss is so hard - its the loneliest, most empty feeling in the world. It is suffocating - at times the pain is so intense I struggle to breath. I am particularly sad this evening - not really sure why. Talking about things is good but I think it drudges up little bits of grief that I never fully let go of. I imagine it will be like that for a long time. Here is a poem my cousin sent me. I cried when I read it because it's just so sad, but I think I cried also because sometimes I just need to cry.

A Baby's Secret

I am just a little fellow
Who didn't quite make it there,
I went straight to be with Jesus
But I am waiting for you here.

Don't you fret about me, mommy,
I am of all God's lambs most blessed.
I'd have love to stay there with you
But the Shepherd knows what's best.

Many dwelling here where I live
Waited years to enter in.
Struggling through a world of sorrow
and their lives were marred with sin.

So sweet mommy, don't you sorrow,
Wipe those tears and chase the gloom.
I went straight to Jesus' bosom
From my lovely mother's womb.

Thank you for the life you gave me.
I'd have loved to bring it fame.
I have all of heaven's glory
suffered none of earthling's pain.

Daddy gave me something for you.
It's our secret, mommy dear;
He pressed it tight against my forehead
Whispered in my tiny ear.

I'll be waiting for you mommy,
you and daddy, brother and sis,
I'll be with you then forever
Then I'll give you daddy's kiss.