Children tend to ooze honesty. They say what is exactly on their mind and, although at times that can be frustrating or embarrassing for a parent, it is somewhat admirable. I took Sean on a field trip yesterday and early in the morning as we were waiting for the bus outside of his school there was a little girl who said to Sean - "Sean let's go see the stone for your dead baby". I wanted to cry but I didn't because what she said was true - Daniel is our baby and yes he is dead.
The school got a small little bench in honor of Daniel and it is made out of stone. They put the bench right under a big tree that sits in front of the entrance to the school. On the bench there is the date of Daniel's birth and his name along with a poem. It is beautiful and I am so grateful for it because each day I pick Sean up from school I see it. I am not one for cemeteries - although I do, every now and then, visit Daniel - so the bench is my way of visiting Daniel each day.
The children, including Sean, went over to the bench and looked at it. I didn't quite hear what they were talking about, but they all squeezed onto the bench and just sat there. I did hear Sean say repeatedly that it was not a stone but a bench. After the children got up, the grandfather of one of the little boys in Sean's class came to look at the bench. As he was reading it Sean walked up to him and said "That bench is for my brother". The man smiled and walked away. I don't know if he really understood Sean or believed him, but at that moment I was so proud of my son. He is literally my superman. I still have a hard time talking about the baby, but Sean made sure that man knew Daniel was his brother. Acknowledgement is scarce when a baby dies. People don't want to talk about it - I don't blame them it sucks. People don't know what to say - I don't know what to say myself sometimes. It's funny how small children can easily discuss something like the death of a baby when most adults have a hard time even acknowledging it at all. I guess we could all learn a little something from our children.
The school got a small little bench in honor of Daniel and it is made out of stone. They put the bench right under a big tree that sits in front of the entrance to the school. On the bench there is the date of Daniel's birth and his name along with a poem. It is beautiful and I am so grateful for it because each day I pick Sean up from school I see it. I am not one for cemeteries - although I do, every now and then, visit Daniel - so the bench is my way of visiting Daniel each day.
The children, including Sean, went over to the bench and looked at it. I didn't quite hear what they were talking about, but they all squeezed onto the bench and just sat there. I did hear Sean say repeatedly that it was not a stone but a bench. After the children got up, the grandfather of one of the little boys in Sean's class came to look at the bench. As he was reading it Sean walked up to him and said "That bench is for my brother". The man smiled and walked away. I don't know if he really understood Sean or believed him, but at that moment I was so proud of my son. He is literally my superman. I still have a hard time talking about the baby, but Sean made sure that man knew Daniel was his brother. Acknowledgement is scarce when a baby dies. People don't want to talk about it - I don't blame them it sucks. People don't know what to say - I don't know what to say myself sometimes. It's funny how small children can easily discuss something like the death of a baby when most adults have a hard time even acknowledging it at all. I guess we could all learn a little something from our children.
2 comments:
I think it is wonderful that your son's school would do that for you. You are truely blessed to have people like that in your life. And you are right, no one knows what to say after a loss, and sometimes that is the hardest part.
how lovely that you ahve a place for all of you that sends daniel out into the world for everyone to love a little piece of him.
Post a Comment