Footprints On Our Hearts Walk To Remember

On October 2, 2011 at 1 PM the first annual Footprints On Our Hearts Walk To Remember will be held at East Shore Park in New Haven, CT. This will be the first official event I will be attending specifically to acknowledge and remember my stillborn son. I have gone to the March of Dimes walk but it is more positively focused around saving lives which is wonderful but doesn't entirely meet my specific needs - to remember and acknowledge the little boy I never got to see breathe.

Although I did not raise money this year, I did register the whole family to walk and we will get shirts with Daniel's name on them. This is a pretty special day and I'm both excited and sad. Excited to be surrounded by others who understand, ecstatic that the Hygeia Foundation has raised a significant amount of money this year to support their cause and sad that there will be so many people attending who know the pain of a lost child.

Please consider attending. This is a great cause. We can't save every baby and someone needs to be there to help pick up the pieces when we don't.

I Think I Get It Now.......

For so long I just kept asking why. Why me? Why did my son have to be the one to die? I think I get it now - not necessarily why but rather that things happen - they shape us and make us who we are. We can choose to let the hard times suffocate our living or choos to live.  I'm not saying I wouldn't take it all back if I could. I remember those first few weeks after we lost Daniel where I just couldn't see my life past tomorrow. One day at a time.....but now I can live. I'm trying my hardest to live and its because of him. I am so grateful for Daniel - he is the reason why I do things some times - things that I don't think I'd ever do if it weren't for the tremendous amount of compassion and sympathy that he has helped to foster the growth of in my heart. I needed a reason why, but now I know.

Going Back

I hate re-reading something I've written even if simply for the purpose of editting. I just briefly went back to 2009 and read some of my posts. I'm so glad I wrote down my thoughts and the things that transpired during this time. I couldn't stop crying of course - its so easy to forget things but it is so important to remember. I'm going to have to grab some of those posts and put them some where because some of them are pretty amazing and I don't usually say that about the things I do. Write....I'm glad I did.

Love, Love, Love This Quote

When someone dies, you don't get over your grief by forgetting, you get through your grief by remembering.

For there is nothing more you can do than that. <3