Please take a moment to light a candle for one hour on October 15th at 7PM to remember all of the babies who have died.
An Angel in the book of life wrote down our baby's birth and whispered as she closed the book... too beautiful for this earth.
Thursday, October 14, 2010
October 15th - Pregnancy and Infant Loss Rememberance Day
In 1989, President Ronald Regan declared October as Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness Month. This has proven to be instrumental in bringing the needs of bereaved parents to the forefront. In addition, several years ago, October 15 was declared Pregnancy and Infant Loss Remembrance Day. On this day, parents, grandparents and friends around the country light candles at 7 PM in honor of babies who have died.
Please take a moment to light a candle for one hour on October 15th at 7PM to remember all of the babies who have died.
An Angel in the book of life wrote down our baby's birth and whispered as she closed the book... too beautiful for this earth.
Please take a moment to light a candle for one hour on October 15th at 7PM to remember all of the babies who have died.
An Angel in the book of life wrote down our baby's birth and whispered as she closed the book... too beautiful for this earth.
Thursday, September 9, 2010
The After Life......
It has literally been forever and, of course, its not because I haven't thought of my little boy or missed him dearly - one of the hard parts of losing someone is that you have to move on with life and continue to live without them. I have been very busy - too busy and actually way too tired to post - but not too busy to keep my little boy in my heart and on my mind.
Today as I drove into work there was a psychic - Angelina Diana - on the radio station I normally listen to. She was talking to the dead for people - listeners would call in and she would describe to them the messages being sent to her from loved ones that had passed away. One woman called in and Angelina said she was sensing an older woman and a baby - a baby that hadn't been able to live in this world. After some discussion the woman determined it was her grandmother and the baby was one that she had lost. Angelina basically said that she was getting the sense that this woman wanted her to know that this baby was a part of the family and should not be forgotten - further affirmation that a person will carry the loss of their child to the grave.
I would love to hear (real or not) that my little boy is okay. I just want to know who is with him... I want to believe that he is surrounding by all our family up in heaven and that he is so much better off up there than down here. I know I probably sound like a fruit cake but sometimes when a person is sad they have to do what ever it takes to help themselves feel better.
Not a day goes by that I don't miss my little boy.
Today as I drove into work there was a psychic - Angelina Diana - on the radio station I normally listen to. She was talking to the dead for people - listeners would call in and she would describe to them the messages being sent to her from loved ones that had passed away. One woman called in and Angelina said she was sensing an older woman and a baby - a baby that hadn't been able to live in this world. After some discussion the woman determined it was her grandmother and the baby was one that she had lost. Angelina basically said that she was getting the sense that this woman wanted her to know that this baby was a part of the family and should not be forgotten - further affirmation that a person will carry the loss of their child to the grave.
I would love to hear (real or not) that my little boy is okay. I just want to know who is with him... I want to believe that he is surrounding by all our family up in heaven and that he is so much better off up there than down here. I know I probably sound like a fruit cake but sometimes when a person is sad they have to do what ever it takes to help themselves feel better.
Not a day goes by that I don't miss my little boy.
Sunday, June 27, 2010
My Grandmother June 27, 2010
Since I never got the chance to read this at my grandmother's funeral a couple of weeks ago, I wanted to at least be able to have the opportunity to put it out there for others. She lost 4 children - three as infants/toddlers and one as an adult so its somewhat fitting for this blog. I tried not to dwell on that too much, but after I lost Daniel I remember seeing her and she seemed like she truly understood and she didn't have to say much, as usual - she hugged me and I cried. I will love her for that always.
**************************************************************************************
This is in no way meant to be an all encompassing recollection of my grandmother’s life. I’m speaking from my perspective on who she was and how her life played out. I’ll try my best to be brief while at the same time try to honor and pay respect to a woman who so rightfully deserves it.
My grandmother was the heart of our family – the matriarch. She wasn’t just my grandmother - she played the role of mother for her grandchildren and for many of the people who just happened to walk into her life. I spent the majority of my childhood living in her home and she was, at least for me, a constant presence in my life. I always knew I could depend on her to be there, to listen, and provide support – and she could do this by saying only a few words or by simply shrugging her shoulders and raising her brow. She was this way with everyone.
My grandmother loved to tell stories. I always enjoyed listening to her narrate her life back in Portugal on the farm. As she got older, the stories would change and sometimes you didn’t know whether or not to believe what she would say – but they were all still really good stories. I looked forward to reminiscing with her and to tell you the truth it is one of the things I will probably miss most.
“A mother is one to whom you hurry when you are troubled.” ~ Emily Dickinson
…. And we were all certainly troubled! No matter what the situation, my grandmother always had a place for you to stay if you needed it. There are handfuls of people here today who have at one point or another lived with my grandmother. In fact she may have single-handedly reduced the rate of homelessness in the state of CT between the years of 1985 and 1993. It didn’t matter to her why you were there or how long you were staying – to her giving someone a place to stay was the right thing to do and it made her feel good to know that you had a roof over your head and food to eat.
Although her generosity was often taken for granted, it never stopped her from unconditionally giving to others. She would give you her last dime if you needed it and if she didn’t have anything left to give she’d go ahead and write you a check anyway. She lived a simple life and didn’t need much – she had grown accustomed to giving everything she had leaving herself with very little - which I have to believe is why she was so frugal and saved everything she ever owned – to include the 27 pairs of scissors she kept stored in her underwear drawer. Believe me, it was hard getting her to let those go!
As thoughtful and as giving as my grandmother may have been, she was by no means a push-over. If she was taken advantage of it was simply because she allowed it – because things like money or material possessions were of little importance to her. Every now and then she would remind you of who was boss. She stood up for herself when she needed to – it took a lot to get her to yell, but when she did – watch out!
“The heart of a mother is a deep abyss at the bottom of which you will always find forgiveness.” ~ Honoré de Balzac
…….. And forgiveness she gave. I have to believe that in order for her to be so caring and giving she would have to have the capacity to forgive those in her life who, regardless of how she treated them, treated her poorly.
Her life wasn’t easy. She suffered the loss of 4 children – 3 young children and one in his adult life – that alone is such a heavy and painful burden to walk around with each day. She gave birth to a child prematurely and had to watch him struggle to survive not only in infancy but throughout his entire life. Some of her children lived tumultuous lives – lives which I’m sure she had not pictured them to live. She worked hard just to keep the roof over her family’s head and food in their mouths. With all of this and much more than I have mentioned here today, she was still a wonderful and caring person. I don’t know what some of us would have done without her in our lives.
Growing up I never fully understood or appreciated the rough road my grandmother had to travel. It wasn’t until just recently, say the last few years of her life – when she needed more help from others than she was able to give in return - that I began to realize just how difficult her journey has been. I pray that my grandmother finds peace and solitude in her passing and that heaven is a final resting place for her where she no longer has to deal with the hardships of life. May she be reunited with those who she has loved and lost – her friends, family, husband, children, grandchildren and great-grandchildren. Rest in peace Grandma.
**************************************************************************************
This is in no way meant to be an all encompassing recollection of my grandmother’s life. I’m speaking from my perspective on who she was and how her life played out. I’ll try my best to be brief while at the same time try to honor and pay respect to a woman who so rightfully deserves it.
My grandmother was the heart of our family – the matriarch. She wasn’t just my grandmother - she played the role of mother for her grandchildren and for many of the people who just happened to walk into her life. I spent the majority of my childhood living in her home and she was, at least for me, a constant presence in my life. I always knew I could depend on her to be there, to listen, and provide support – and she could do this by saying only a few words or by simply shrugging her shoulders and raising her brow. She was this way with everyone.
My grandmother loved to tell stories. I always enjoyed listening to her narrate her life back in Portugal on the farm. As she got older, the stories would change and sometimes you didn’t know whether or not to believe what she would say – but they were all still really good stories. I looked forward to reminiscing with her and to tell you the truth it is one of the things I will probably miss most.
“A mother is one to whom you hurry when you are troubled.” ~ Emily Dickinson
…. And we were all certainly troubled! No matter what the situation, my grandmother always had a place for you to stay if you needed it. There are handfuls of people here today who have at one point or another lived with my grandmother. In fact she may have single-handedly reduced the rate of homelessness in the state of CT between the years of 1985 and 1993. It didn’t matter to her why you were there or how long you were staying – to her giving someone a place to stay was the right thing to do and it made her feel good to know that you had a roof over your head and food to eat.
Although her generosity was often taken for granted, it never stopped her from unconditionally giving to others. She would give you her last dime if you needed it and if she didn’t have anything left to give she’d go ahead and write you a check anyway. She lived a simple life and didn’t need much – she had grown accustomed to giving everything she had leaving herself with very little - which I have to believe is why she was so frugal and saved everything she ever owned – to include the 27 pairs of scissors she kept stored in her underwear drawer. Believe me, it was hard getting her to let those go!
As thoughtful and as giving as my grandmother may have been, she was by no means a push-over. If she was taken advantage of it was simply because she allowed it – because things like money or material possessions were of little importance to her. Every now and then she would remind you of who was boss. She stood up for herself when she needed to – it took a lot to get her to yell, but when she did – watch out!
“The heart of a mother is a deep abyss at the bottom of which you will always find forgiveness.” ~ Honoré de Balzac
…….. And forgiveness she gave. I have to believe that in order for her to be so caring and giving she would have to have the capacity to forgive those in her life who, regardless of how she treated them, treated her poorly.
Her life wasn’t easy. She suffered the loss of 4 children – 3 young children and one in his adult life – that alone is such a heavy and painful burden to walk around with each day. She gave birth to a child prematurely and had to watch him struggle to survive not only in infancy but throughout his entire life. Some of her children lived tumultuous lives – lives which I’m sure she had not pictured them to live. She worked hard just to keep the roof over her family’s head and food in their mouths. With all of this and much more than I have mentioned here today, she was still a wonderful and caring person. I don’t know what some of us would have done without her in our lives.
Growing up I never fully understood or appreciated the rough road my grandmother had to travel. It wasn’t until just recently, say the last few years of her life – when she needed more help from others than she was able to give in return - that I began to realize just how difficult her journey has been. I pray that my grandmother finds peace and solitude in her passing and that heaven is a final resting place for her where she no longer has to deal with the hardships of life. May she be reunited with those who she has loved and lost – her friends, family, husband, children, grandchildren and great-grandchildren. Rest in peace Grandma.
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