Light a Candle

Our little boy Daniel should be celebrating his first birthday tomorrow. How we wish we could have seen him grow. Nothing can get back what we lost, but we will always continue to love him and be his parents until we meet up with him again one day. We love you Daniel!

To light a candle for Daniel click here.

Praying for Andy

April 24, 2008, the day I returned from the hospital after giving birth to Daniel, was a beautiful spring day, much like today, and although I still looked very much pregnant and I was feeling so very sad, I remember just wanting the sun to shine down on me. Our neighbors' good friend, Andy, had stopped by their house and both John and I were outside in our neighbors' yard at the time. Andy walked up and with a very sincere look in his eyes and sound in his voice he told us how sorry he was for our loss. He was probably one of the first people we saw after losing Daniel and his heartfelt sympathy at the time helped to satisfy the need for acknowledgement that many parents suffer from following the stillbirth of their child.

Today is April 18, 2009, a beautiful spring day, and I spent some time this evening at church praying for Andy - the same man who was able to provide me with a few moments of comfort during a very sad time in my life. I hadn't seen him in a long time and although he looked much different I could still recognize him by his eyes - the sincere eyes that expressed their sorrow to me just a year ago. Andy is very sick and is fighting a rapidly progressing stomach cancer that has spread to other parts of his body. He has two young children, 4 and 1, and a wife whose love for him seems unwavering.

I wish I knew what God's plan is for Andy. Sometimes with great suffering its hard for us to understand why and we are forced to trust that God's plan is one with purpose. During the prayer service the priest mentioned that Andy said that he "trusted God". I hope that in his trust he will find peace. As Daniel's birthday approaches, I find myself being more and more affected by the heartache that Andy and his family must be feeling. I only wish I could offer him the same comfort he offered me. Please pray for Andy.

Update: Andy passed away today - Wednesday April 22nd - the same day we found out Daniel had died. God bless his family and may they find peace in knowing he is in heaven with the angels.

Flowers for Daniel

John often visits Daniel at the cemetery, so the other day he stopped to get him some flowers. The woman at the register asked what they were for and he stated "a grave". She said she was sorry but proceeded to ask for who and he stated "my son". Again she apologized but continued to ask how old he was when he died and John told her that he was stillborn. Again she apologized but drummed up the courage to mention how she had a miscarriage at 12 weeks exactly one year ago. After some discussion about her wanting to try again and her husband feeling like he was too old to have anymore children, she made a comment about how ironic it was that they crossed paths. I suppose her knowing our situation and her feelings with today being her angel's anniversary made her feel like talking with John was a sign.

After their conversation John left the store with Daniel weighing heavily on his mind. As he got in his car, the radio station he usually listens to was announcing a contest where you can call-in and win $99. Since the timing was right, John proceeded to dial the number. The line rang and instead of the radio station an answering machine picked up and there was a little voice on the other end that said "Hi Daddy!". I think John was a bit taken aback. Clearly he had dialed the wrong number, but its always nice to know that there are signs all around us and it always seems that our ability to see them is strongest during the hardest times in our lives.