I am constantly grappling with the following question: How many children do you have? I have heard this discussed by other mothers of angels and everyone has their own spin on it. I want so badly to say I have three children, but I always find myself stuttering and saying "I have a 4 year old and a 9 week old at home". It's the best I can do. I guess there is a time and a place for everything, but at times I just want to blurt it out - the only problem is I can hardly speak of my loss without crying. I get so choked up and it doesn't help when I see the sorry look in the other person's eyes.
In an effort to get my body back after two years of being pregnant I joined the gym at work. Part of joining involves a fitness check including weight, height, measurements, etc. Included with the membership is a personalized workout program. I was asked what my goals were and I explained I wanted to work on my core and drop some weight mentioning that I had back-to-back pregnancies. The fitness coordinator asked how old my children were and I said "four and two months". She looked puzzled and looked back on the sheet. I explained that my son was stillborn, with tears in my eyes of course, and that was that. A very awkward moment but I'm sure it won't be the last and it certainly wasn't the first.
1 comment:
I know what you mean! I work with a new set of patients every night and almost always they ask how many children I have and I always have to mention Kooper. It bring tears to my eyes but I am proud to be his Mom. Do what you feel is best for you!
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