I really wanted to repost a note that my husband's niece (she's my niece too)left on this blog. First, because she speaks from her heart and second because I want to comment on her words.
Hey Guys, Its been awhile since I stopped by, its really hard to. Some may agree, some might not, I dont really care to be honest with you. People who havent lost a child the way that you lost Danny and I lost my boys have no idea how hard it is sometimes to relive and talk about it. You can never forget and for me, years later I havent moved on either. Its not the same as loosing a mom, dad, or even a sibling. Its worse. You never get the chance to hear them cry, or even watch them while they sleep. Opening this blog sometimes really makes me cry. The day that I lost Terrande the only Uncle that called was you, Uncle John. MILES away, going through whatever it was that you were going through, and the words "Nic, Im so proud of you, and I LOVE YOU" are imprinted in my heart. I WOULD NEVER WISH such a terrible thing on anybody! I just want you to know that even though I might not say it often, I do think about my baby cousin, and I do hope that the boys found eachother, cause as I was told my grandmom many years ago in the end you only have your family. So play nice boys, I will see you one day, until then, know that I love you and IM AWLAYS thinking and praying for all three of you!
The day Nicole lost her son John was in Delaware and I was home alone. Early that morning our clock fell off the wall. The clock is John's grandmother's and is probably about 100 years old. When it fell it just started to tick erratically and it wouldn't stop. Finally after I picked it up and sat it on the table it stopped. I think that was a sign - only a few hours later John called to tell me the news. Somehow my husband knows how to handle the most difficult situations with grace and dignity. He knew to acknowledge the loss of Nicole's son - just like he knew to make sure that he carried Daniel's tiny coffin out of the funeral parlor and into the herse because, as he said, "he's my son I should carry him". He handled everything so well and I am so proud of him for being such a strong person for our family.
Nicole - I didn't call you. I didn't say anything. I couldn't because I didn't know what to say. At that time I didn't understand. Now I do - but, as you stated, its only because I lost a child, I'm so sorry Nicole. Sometimes I still don't know what to say - I also understand why many haven't said anything to me. I try to talk about Daniel and do things to remember him so people know its okay to talk about him to me and so that no one forgets about him. Its one of the hardest things to do - live life without your child.
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