Blessings

The excerpt below is from the blog of another mother who found it in another mother's post. I find myself at a loss for words sometimes and its not that I am not feeling anything right now, just that I am very confused about how I feel. I think the quote below sums it up pretty much.

"The Lord makes each of our children just as He sees fit. Some have red hair, some blond, some have blue eyes and some brown, some have hot tempers, while others are mild mannered. Some have developmental delays, and some have physical impairments. Some are meant to stay for a long time, and others only a moment. He trusts these children, His children to us as gifts. They are not ours, but His and they each bless us in a different way and take up residence in a different part of our hearts we never knew existed. Even the children who are only with us briefly bless us with immense gifts that will never be erased or forgotten. One doesn't replace another and each one is as valuable as the next. I have been blessed FIVE times. I am still trying to wrap my mind around that and find contentment with the blessings He has bestowed upon me even when there is pain intertwined with the joy. I am learning that feeling joy for the NEW thing the Lord is doing in my life does not replace the loss that I feel daily." (http://babybolte.blogspot.com/2009/05/struggle-with-contentment.html)

Our children are always our children no matter the circumstances. I think that speaks true for any parent in any situation. We have to remember that we are blessed to have what ever God gives us.

Light a Candle

Our little boy Daniel should be celebrating his first birthday tomorrow. How we wish we could have seen him grow. Nothing can get back what we lost, but we will always continue to love him and be his parents until we meet up with him again one day. We love you Daniel!

To light a candle for Daniel click here.

Praying for Andy

April 24, 2008, the day I returned from the hospital after giving birth to Daniel, was a beautiful spring day, much like today, and although I still looked very much pregnant and I was feeling so very sad, I remember just wanting the sun to shine down on me. Our neighbors' good friend, Andy, had stopped by their house and both John and I were outside in our neighbors' yard at the time. Andy walked up and with a very sincere look in his eyes and sound in his voice he told us how sorry he was for our loss. He was probably one of the first people we saw after losing Daniel and his heartfelt sympathy at the time helped to satisfy the need for acknowledgement that many parents suffer from following the stillbirth of their child.

Today is April 18, 2009, a beautiful spring day, and I spent some time this evening at church praying for Andy - the same man who was able to provide me with a few moments of comfort during a very sad time in my life. I hadn't seen him in a long time and although he looked much different I could still recognize him by his eyes - the sincere eyes that expressed their sorrow to me just a year ago. Andy is very sick and is fighting a rapidly progressing stomach cancer that has spread to other parts of his body. He has two young children, 4 and 1, and a wife whose love for him seems unwavering.

I wish I knew what God's plan is for Andy. Sometimes with great suffering its hard for us to understand why and we are forced to trust that God's plan is one with purpose. During the prayer service the priest mentioned that Andy said that he "trusted God". I hope that in his trust he will find peace. As Daniel's birthday approaches, I find myself being more and more affected by the heartache that Andy and his family must be feeling. I only wish I could offer him the same comfort he offered me. Please pray for Andy.

Update: Andy passed away today - Wednesday April 22nd - the same day we found out Daniel had died. God bless his family and may they find peace in knowing he is in heaven with the angels.